For the first time since the school’s founding, the bitter feud between the Lynx and the Bi-Line has been called to a complete standstill.
Last Friday, the entire staff for each publication gathered on opposite sides of the Westminster seal for a formal, medieval-style duel. Each publication’s team had to find or create a toy weapon of choice and battle it out on the hallowed grounds of Pressly patio.
“I loved the idea at first, but then I realized that I had no idea how to make a sword!” laughed Addie Croft, one of Lynx’s head editors. “Whoops! So I just used one of the water guns I found lying around.”
“Same,” said Bi-Line co-head editor Catherine Benedict, taking a Snapchat with the Westminster geofilter.
Right before the duel began, sophomore Snappy Snap heroically pointed out that someone would eventually step on the sacred Westminster seal.
“Not graduating is, like, worse than death,” a wide-eyed Snap whispered. “I couldn’t just let the two publications, both alike in dignity, follow through with their treacherous endeavors. I had to put an end to the madness. And I did, so I’m feeling pretty great about myself right about now. I might celebrate with Chick-Fil-A.”
After the deathly fear of not graduating swept the crowd, Lynx and Bi-Line declared a brief truce of undetermined length, confirmed by an oath of allegiance. The spoils of war remain unclaimed – a highlighter, two matching straws, and one of those Vera Bradley bags that have been sitting in the bookstore for five years.
“I was kind of ready to duel, though,” sighed Benedict in disappointment. “I had made myself a hat out of a desecrated newspaper and even a slogan about Bi-Line’s superiority. I can’t disclose the details of that, though. Don’t tell anyone, but I may have used the water gun on a freshman after we declared truce. I bribed her with cookies, so no harm done. So even though no one officially won, we know in our hearts that Bi-Line actually won.”
Junior Macaroni S. Jones of the Lynx variety was the only staff member to miss the duel. It has been confirmed that he spent the time seething in a corner because he was and still is four or five months behind his Lynx assignment schedule.
“Wait, what’s the Bi-Line?” said Jones.