Flik confesses to egregious lunch menu mistake [Satire]

After almost a full school year of defending its homogenous lunch choices, Flik has finally come to terms with the criticisms surrounding its decisions. Not persuaded by grumblings throughout the school, Flik finally broke down as a result of an unabashedly critical student survey and accompanying petition. In a surprise response to these widespread critiques, a Flik staff member made clear the stance of the team last week.

“We recently realized that the main issue with our school lunches, although they are always interesting, well-planned, and delectable, is the fact that we simply ordered too much rice at the beginning of the year,” said one member of Flik who wishes to remain anonymous due to the controversy surrounding the embarrassing issue that has been dubbed by some TMR (Too Much Rice). “Everyone on the team feels this way but is nervous to confess that we made a mistake that has led to so much unrest.”

Despite the clear feelings of members of the Flik team, the group remains unwilling to make a public announcement on account of the humiliating nature of the problem. Moreover, the only available solution seems to be to add more and more rice to each meal.

Although a continuous surplus of rice might seem unappealing, the Flik team is doing its best to find new ways to incorporate the starch staple into menus that still seem dissimilar.

“Despite the amount of rice we have, I think it’s safe to say that we did a good job on varying everything else,” said the Flik member. “For instance, chicken is a big favorite with the kids and teachers, but we’re still extremely conscious not to over-do it. Since we can’t afford to alternate the starch a lot due to our excess of rice, we are careful to change up the meat often enough that the meals never seem monotonous.”

What remains to be seen is how students will react to the blatant admission that their rice-related suffering has been acknowledged but not vindicated. Rice revolution, anyone?