Sample completely replaced by computers [Satire]


Every student has passed by former English teacher and Bi-Line dictator Ryan Sample’s old classroom at sometime in their high school career. However, since Sample’s grand departure, Westminster has employed some 21st Century Learning techniques to replace the legendary man.

 “The 1:1 Laptop program was such a success here,” said Jim Justice, “So we decided to employ a new 21st Century Learning program: the 1:20 Computer Program.”

 “Ryan Sample was sort of our test subject,” said Mark Labouchere. “When he left, we couldn’t imagine who could possibly replace him. So we decided, why not 3 SmartBoards?”

        “The 1:20 Program is simple,” said Justice. “We just replace the teacher with a supercomputer, to be represented by 3 screens. Then class continues as normal under the leadership of this piece of technology.”

     “We call this supercomputer ‘The Tech Emperor,’ said Labouchere. “That’s why the room is now called ‘The Tech Palace.’”

“Our hope is to have replaced all teachers with computers by the year 2020,” said Justice. “We already have a program in the works that will recognize all students and call them by name, Scoot Dimon-style. We also have a program to lock tardy students out of math classrooms like Landy Godbold, and are close to finishing a program that can measure skirt lengths so Mrs. Boozer won’t have to.”

“Don’t tell Jim Justice,” said Labouchere, “But we just completed a program that gets really enthused about tree-cat day. His annual tree-cat email will be crafted by a computer program starting in 2016.”

        Ryan Sample could not be reached for comment.