Student sells soul, shoes for 800 dollars on Buckhead Teen Exchange [Satire]

In a transaction on the popular Facebook page Buckhead Teen Exchange, sophomore Liza Jones sold her soul and a really great pair of Tory Burch flats.

“Yeah, the flats were size seven, worn twice with a small mark on the right toe,” she recounted. “I got 60 dollars for those, it was a really good deal.”

Jones was not as thrilled about the price her human soul went for.

“No one was commenting, so I had to lower the price twice,” she explained. “It’s actually so embarrassing when you have to do that, because it’s like no one really likes your stuff.”

Both shoes and soul were delivered to the buyer without incident.

“I didn’t actually see her,” Jones said. “She just left the money in her mailbox and I put the shoes and the soul that contains my entire identity in there.”

Following the sale, Jones’s peers have definitely noticed something different about her.

“She’s got this new top; it’s blue and purple and sort of patterned and I’m obsessed with it,” her best friend Lindsay Howard enthused.

“I used the money from my shoes and that other thing to buy the top on the Exchange,” Jones revealed.

Other recent items of note for sale on the page include a still beating human heart, an entire extended family, and this knock-off Longchamp bag that looks exactly like the real thing.

“Yeah, I bought the heart,” said Westminster senior Lenoir Kelley. “I’m kind of a shopaholic.”

When Lexi Rooker, who runs the Facebook group, was asked about the moral repercussions of selling a mortal soul online, she seemed unconcerned.

“I’m fine with you posting it unless it’s an animal or used cosmetics,” she explained. “You’ve got to draw the line somewhere.”

Despite this, Jones now regrets her post.

“I shouldn’t have sold those flats,” she admitted. “Those were really one-of-a-kind.”