This past weekend tragic events took place on President Keith Evans’s vacation to the mountains. While going on a walk in the woods, Evans was suddenly attacked by a wildcat. 

“It came out of nowhere,” said Evans. “I didn’t even hear it approaching.”

While his physical injuries were minimal (just a few scratches on the arms and legs), the mental trauma he sustained was far worse.

“I can’t get the memory of the attack out of my head,” said Evans. “Every time I see the Westminster logo I get scared again — don’t even get me started on the mascot head.”

In light of these recent events, Evans decided to change the Westminster mascot. No clear replacement has been announced, but Evans has mentioned he is open to suggestions. This announcement was made Monday in the Weekly Updates and on WCAT News.

These recent events were the talk of the town at Westminster. Both students and faculty had many suggestions on what the new mascot should be. In fact, senior Xavier Blackwood believed the new mascot should be a snake.

“They are so cool and are venomous,” said Blackwood. “Also, think of how sick a snake mascot would be! All the other schools would be scared of us.”

Eco club president Jane Doe had another idea. She wanted the new mascot to be a fish.

“I believe that making the new mascot a fish will promote the protection of biodiversity and convince Westminster to go green.” 

On the other hand, freshman Wayne Lourdan wanted the new mascot to be a kangaroo.

“Did you know that kangaroos are actually crazy good at fighting,” said Lourdan. “I bet they could beat up Lovett’s lion.”

History teacher Edwina Glindess had a different take on what the mascot should be.

“Why does it have to be an animal,” says Glindess. “Let’s make our new mascot a samurai. It’s like Pace’s knight mascot, but cooler, and has more cultural history.”

Sophomore Linda Zounels also took a new approach to the mascot, opting for a non-animal.

“Westminster is all about innovation and inspiring change,” said Zounels. “I think we should take that into account when considering a new mascot.”

Senior Chad Smith agreed with both Zounels and Glindess’s opinions on a non-animal mascot, although his suggestions were quite unique.

“Why don’t we just make the mascot a block of cheese or like a potato or something,” said Smith. “Everyone loves both of those things.”

These ideas are to be considered and a new mascot will be chosen in a board meeting this coming week. When asked about the mascot dilemma, board member Allen Wringston expressed his excitement for this meeting.

“This will definitely be an interesting meeting,” said Wringston. “This is not a topic we usually have board meetings on.”

In order to stay informed on the final decision for the mascot, be sure to check https://www.thebiline.com/category/april-fools/ next week!