When Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries became husband and wife on Aug. 20 of this year, not many expected the marriage to be lifelong. However, when their divorce was announced a mere 72 days after the wedding, even the most cynical (including me) were surprised.
Kim released a statement that she most definitely did not marry for publicity and that her “intuition” led her to end the relationship. I will let you decide the veracity of that statement for yourself—just remember that the ceremony cost 10 million dollars and was broadcast live on E!, the network that hosts the Kardashians’ many TV shows.
Unbeknownst to those who don’t find themselves shamefully watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians on a regular basis, this was not Kim’s first marriage. In 2000, the socialite married Damon Thomas, a music producer. The relationship lasted four years—a good bit longer than this more recent nuptial agreement. All of this discussion about celebrity marriage got me thinking: has the phrase “till death do us part” lost its meaning?
I ask because we are surrounded by famously failed celebrity marriages in addition to that of Kim and Kris, the first example of which is the union between Jesse James and Sandra Bullock. Hearts broke across the nation when everyone’s favorite Miss Congeniality announced that her husband had cheated on her after five years of marriage. Then we arrive at one of my favorite celebrity couples of all time: Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony. Even after their seven years of marriage and the birth of twins Max and Emme, the couple announced that their time as husband and wife had ended. Most recently, Zooey Deschanel and husband of two years, Ben Gibbard, frontman of the popular band Death Cab for Cutie, have announced their divorce.
Of course, these are only a few of numerous failed celebrity marriages. The media continues to inundate us with news of famous divorces, and I think it is safe to say that we are rarely surprised by these announcements. As the American divorce rate continues to rise, it is easy to assume that the sanctity of marriage has been diluted. But, ladies and gentlemen, I still have hope. Continuing with the theme of celebrities representing the rest of the American population (which is, admittedly, very questionable), I will now show you celebrity couples that actually made it.
First and foremost, I would like all of you (after you finish reading this article, of course) to go watch an episode of Ice Loves Coco on E!. This couple, composed of Law & Order: SVU’s Ice-T and former swimsuit model Nicole “Coco Marie” Austin, has been together since late 2001. Just by looking at them, you would think that there is no way they could have lasted longer than six months, tops. But they are still together and it is undeniable that the two are made for each other. Then there are the marriages that we expect to work out, such as that of Will and Jada Pinkett Smith. My all-time favorite celebrity duo, the two have been married since 1997, and despite many rumors suggesting otherwise, they are still going strong. The last couple I want to mention is Sarah Jessica Parker and her husband Matthew Broderick (fun fact: he is the voice of Simba), who have, like the Smiths, been together since 1997.
As you can see, not all celebrity marriages end in divorce. However, the fact that we are surprised when they work out speaks for itself. Have we grown as a society to expect romantic failure? What happened to happily ever after?
In a time when marriage is no longer purely romantic and is instead often used as a means for gaining citizenship, becoming wealthy, and satisfying tradition, it is hard to comprehend the genuineness of the vows made in a traditional wedding ceremony. We are quick to write off marriage as a likely temporary union of two people who may or may not even love each other, and this is a rather depressing fact for me, as a person who cries when TV characters or strangers get engaged. Divorce rates will fluctuate for the rest of our lives, but one thing will always remain consistent: celebrities will never cease to entertain us with their own relationship choices.
So, continue watching, Westminster. There is undoubtedly going to be some new relationship drama in Hollywood within the next two months. Who knows? Maybe Justin Bieber is a baby daddy after all! Stay tuned, and stay sane.