What’s Good in the D-Wood?

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BroTP

Dunwoody, Georgia, is without a doubt the most exciting city in northwestern DeKalb County, and I daresay perhapsthe most exciting city in all of DeKalb, yet few students know about anything that happens in Dunwoody, ever, because almost all students exist within the “Buckhead Bubble.” This is largely due to the fact that for some unfathomable reason students hate driving. Sure, it takes 20 minutes to get to Dunwoody from school, but once you’re there you’ve opened up a whole new world of possibilities.

Dunwoody has two Krogers within ten minutes of each other. Tell me another city that offers that many mediocre grocery stores in such a concentrated area, along with the walkability of I-75. To see all of the most interesting sights of Dunwoody you would have to walk from one end of the city to another, and sidewalks are few and far between. Another underrated amenity of Dunwoody is the high concentration of playgrounds. Some people say that high school students are too old for playgrounds, but to them I say, “Compared to what?” The Morris Brandon playground is fun, but it can get old. If you want some new monkey bars to play on or a new slide to go down, hit up one of Dunwoody’s three great playgrounds. Also, there are no cops.

The Dunwoody Village provides untold delights to those who want little more than to wander around shopping centers and see the magnificent sights that Dunwoody has to offer. Visitors can go to the information center, where they can learn all sorts of fun facts, like how Dunwoody got its name from a misspelled Confederate major’s name, or how it is the hometown of the notable flower punk group “Black Lips.”

Later, you can allay your diversity fears by finding that a hefty 1.5 percent of the population is identified as “some other race.” Should you ever find yourself completely drained of funds by the wonders of Dunwoody, simply walk into one of the two Wells Fargo banks in Dunwoody (conveniently located right next to each other, complete with their own managers, vaults, money, and employees). When asked about the unorthodox placement of the banks, the manager of the bank on the left stated, “Sometimes we get the customers, sometimes they get the customers. It really is the perfect system.” Such convenience can only be found in Dunwoody.

While the culture of Dunwoody alone is enough to cement its reputation as the single greatest locale in the Western Hemisphere, it is the food and banking offerings that elevate Dunwoody to its true status as the refulgent, crowning achievement of modern civilization. While, on initial inspection, food offerings in Dunwoody may be sparse, a more thorough investigation reveals a plethora of restaurants decent enough to almost satisfy anybody. The Arby’s, located conveniently off of I-285, has been described as “pretty clean” and “as good as other Arby’s restaurants, maybe better,” by consumers, with an atmosphere that is “second to none,” while the nearby Outback Steakhouse offers some lighter fare. Los Rancheros, conveniently located in a shopping center with one of the two Krogers, and famous for its extremely fast service of Mexican food, is the ideal place for any off-campus lunch.

Dunwoody is a favorite spot for many celebrities as evidenced by recent rumors that Ms. Fondren ate at Simply Thai. Many people come back from New York or LA with stories of celebrities that they have seen, but Dunwoody offers just as many if not more celebs. Ryan Seacrest is a proud product of Dunwoody High School. The actor who played Sunshine in Remember the Titans and then proceeded to do nothing else of note was also a Dunwoody Wildcat.

Throughout the ages, every great civilization has seen all of its effort, innovation, and technology expressed through a single, glorious embodiment of its contribution to human progress. Greece had Athens, Rome had Rome, and the modern civilized world has Dunwoody

I humbly suggest that next time you find yourself driving around West Paces with nothing to do, hop on the highway and go to Dunwoody. You shall find many wonders.

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