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Kelly solves teen problems

Dear Kelly,

I’m in love with Stacy’s mom. She’s really got it going on and I’ve waited so long. But I think it’s slightly inappropriate since I’m in high school. What do I do?

Sincerely,

Wanting Wayne

Dear Wanting Wayne,

Well first of all, the rule is to take her age, divide it by two, and add ten. Now, if Stacy’s mom is single, and abides by that rule, then you still probably should not go for it. You should just leave your crush to yourself and maybe see if you can learn to like Stacy. She probably had similar attributes to her mother and in time you may be able to learn to love her.

Love, Kelly

 

Dear Kelly,

I’m becoming too popular. I mean I gave people my number and my pager and I told them: “Call me, beep me, if you wanna reach me” but I didn’t think it would happen so much. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Too Many Calls Kim

Dear Too Many Calls Kim,

Having a lot of friends isn’t necessarily a bad thing. If people are calling you just to get things from you, then maybe you should be more selective about who you give your number to. You could also consider turning off your phone and taking time to just be with yourself. And no matter what people want you to do, you can always say no.

XOXO, Kelly

 

Dear Kelly,

Uggg… so he calls me up and he’s like, “I still love you,” And I’m like… “I just… I mean this is exhausting, you know, like, we are never getting back together. Like, ever.”

Sincerely,

Totally Over This Swift

Dear Totally Over This Swift,

I understand that at this point you might be annoyed that he is still calling you, but you need to think of this from his point of view. He clearly likes you and doesn’t know how to get over you. Try and be aware of his feelings and if worse comes to worst, you can get a restraining order on him.

Much Love,

Kelly

 

Dear Kelly,

My friend has accelerated short-term memory loss and keeps on forgetting who I am.  This is especially frustrating since I have generalized anxiety disorder, which prevents me from making many other friends.  I asked my friend for advice, but all she says is “just keep swimming” over and over.  It really doesn’t help too much.  What should I do?

Sincerely,

Muddled Marlin

 

Dear Muddled Marlin,

It seems like this problem is something you should see a professional about.  I’m sure both of these problems (the memory loss and the anxiety) can be solved with the right medicine and advice.  For now, I just think you might want to reconsider your friend’s advice.  A lot of the time, the best thing you can do is to just keep on going forward even if it’s hard.  Who knows, maybe you’ll stumble onto the answer by accident!

XOXO, Kelly

P.S. Watch out for sharks.

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