Freshman fears swoop, asks to PDC in eighth grade [Satire]

Ra the Egyptian Sun God , April Fools!

April 1, 2015

With freshman PDC right around the corner, the mobs of 9th grade girls rushing to ask cute boys is at an all time high. A freshmen tradition in current times, the PDC askings have been occurring increasing earlier and earlier i...

JanTerm assumes ultimate form in YearTerm [Satire]

That Indian Guy

April 1, 2015

Having been elected the next upper school interim principal, Jim Justice has recently announced his newest project that builds upon the indubitable triumph of JanTerm, an initiative he has dubbed YearTerm. “Imagine everythin...

Middle schooler keeps relationship for more than 3 days, hailed as hero [Satire]

CDog Money , April Fools!

April 1, 2015

Anyone who has recently ventured into the spacious corridors of the newly christened Clarkson Hall has surely heard the name of a particular sixth grade boy being chanted like the legends of yore. Jimmy Harfenburger is not just a...

Students become the masters with “21st-century learning” [Satire]

Lil M, April Fools!

April 1, 2015

In line with Westminster’s Learning for Life vision statement and recent push for 21st century learning, President Keith Evans has announced that students will now teach classes instead of teachers. “Times are changing quickly, and we wa...

Junior cheats on Honor Council Application [Satire]

Benedict Cumberbatch, April Fools!

April 1, 2015

Unbeknownst to many, junior John O’Donovan completely fabricated his entire Honor Council application. “I didn’t really want to apply in the first place, but Dr. Boggs said I’d have a better chance of getting into Harvard ...

Rusty Hudson cuts football, leaves ultimate frisbee legacy [Satire]

Benedict Arnold, April Fools!

April 1, 2015

After nineteen years at Westminster, Athletic Director Rusty Hudson will be stepping down at the end of this school year. Most envisioned a peaceful transfer of power to new athletic director Tim Downes, but Hudson is determined...

StudGov actually leads school art initiative, hopes to promote inclusivity and creativity [Satire]

Indiana Jones, April Fools!

April 1, 2015

In an effort to promote more community togetherness and just plain overall bonding as a school, this year’s Student Government officials have steadily been instituting groundbreaking new changes. They’ve prepared countless opp...

Student sells soul, shoes for 800 dollars on Buckhead Teen Exchange [Satire]

Rows Sheep Han, April Fools!

April 1, 2015

In a transaction on the popular Facebook page Buckhead Teen Exchange, sophomore Liza Jones sold her soul and a really great pair of Tory Burch flats. “Yeah, the flats were size seven, worn twice with a small mark on the right ...